I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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