You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
