guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
