When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
how drunk are you?
Several
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize