That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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