Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
