I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize