so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
