Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
