Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
