i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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