grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
