a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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