no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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