I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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