you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
