Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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