What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
