You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This baby is an asshole
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
