Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
