ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
