Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
