At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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