It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
