elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
