my sisters under your porch take her home
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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