cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
well you can't waste a boner
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize