Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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