oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it hurts more in the daytime
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
