belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
it's like iHOP with fire
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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