Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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