Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i came on her dog
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
