My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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