Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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