Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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