why didn't you poke me back
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
