Sponge bath it is.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
