We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
