I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
