I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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