Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
