i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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