Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
