i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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