Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
