My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
