They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Found your dick twin last night
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I am one with the molecules
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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