If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
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