I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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