He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
