are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
FUCK WHALES
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
