I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
