i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
