He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
