That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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