Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
