Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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