the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
