Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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